My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
