How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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