I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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