nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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