She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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