But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
They have beer where we have blood.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
