garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
