my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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