Buhtt sex?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
