She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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