I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize