I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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