i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
