She said her name was "party"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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