I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
