so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
