You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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