My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
