I didn't shave. On purpose
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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