on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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