but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
