He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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