Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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