So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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