I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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