and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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