I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
