Will you blow on my dice?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
