don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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