well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize