He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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