didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
im holly from the hills drunk
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
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i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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