my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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