oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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