So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
