yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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