i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
