i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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