He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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