420 ftw
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
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I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
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Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
why is half of my head shaved?
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