So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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