All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
