she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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