If that was your dad, he is hot
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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