Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
honey bunches of taint.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
