i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
