She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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