she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
