What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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