omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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