the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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