we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
