its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Girls should come with a carfax report
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
