every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
