morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
