i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I want you more than these girls want KFC
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
