We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Four minutes until I can fart!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
