Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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