You work out of a Hotel?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
