This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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