Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
