It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
